Borderline
by Kyle-Kenny-McCormick
Summary: Kyle has been secretly dating Stan for years, but is conflicted about his feelings for someone else. Nearing their high school graduation, both of them and forced to make some difficult decisions.


**A/N: This is an updated version of a story I began writing about 5 years ago. I really enjoyed rereading it and decided I would rewrite it and continue it this time, but with a bit of a different spin. I haven't written anything in years, and I wanted to get back into it. I hope you guys enjoy. As always, critiques are welcome. ~Lindsey**

I slowly picked myself up off the couch and placed a half-finished beer on the table next to me. My head was pounding. I hated the taste of alcohol, but it became a sort of social necessity in situations like this. I scanned the room, hoping to lay eyes on Stan, but he was nowhere to be seen. After he had a few beers, I figured he would make his way around and somehow manage to become best friends with everyone at the party.

Meanwhile, I had been sipping on the same beer for two hours, sitting on the stairs scrolling mindlessly through Reddit, and hoping to avoid social interaction as much as I possibly could. I promised I would come here for him. It was the last party before our senior graduation the next Friday and wanted to make sure I at least showed my face.

Minutes passed; the music was continuing to blare. I set my phone down next to me and decided I would look for Stan to at least see how he was doing. Token's house was huge, so I started towards the living room where most of the people seemed to be crowded. Lo and behold, there was Stan, doing a keg stand.

Some other drunken partygoers set him down and started cheering. He shook the alcohol off his face and let out a prideful "WOOOOOO!" He caught my glance from across the room and stopped everything to stumble over towards me.

"KYLE! Where have you been? Did you see that keg stand I just did? It was like 45 seconds. I think that's a new record!" I smiled and laughed, and he pulled me in for a hug and tried to kiss my cheek. I was quick to push him away. Drunk Stan is completely unable to hide his emotions, so I discretely took his hand and led him into the backyard. He started laughing uncontrollably the second we stepped onto the back porch.

There were certain parts of myself that I wasn't ready to share with everyone. People had their suspicions, but nobody knew but us. Stan and I had been together for almost a year and a half, and it wasn't something that I was ready to let the world in on. Though we grew up in an area that was very tolerable, at the end of the day I didn't feel like it was anyone's business but ours.

Stan pulled a nearly crushed pack of cigarettes from his back pocket and began fumbling around looking for a lighter. "Dude, I knew I shouldn't have let that chick borrow my lighter. It was my favorite one, I'm never getting that back, right?" He put the cigarettes disappointedly back into his pocket, further crushing the pack. "I wish I didn't care about gender stereotypes so much. I would TOTALLY carry a purse around babe. Women are so lucky. They can carry their whole fucking lives in those things."

"If you had a purse, you would probably lose it just like you lost your lighter." He started hysterically laughing in response. I hated being a buzzkill, but situations like this really made me uncomfortable. I've never been one for parties. I didn't want to take him away from his fun, but I was ready to go home and sleep. "Are you having fun tonight Stan?" That was really all I could muster the courage to say. It was very possible this would be one of the last times we would get to spend this much time with the people we've been in school with since preschool, and I wasn't about to take him away from that.

"Of course I am baby!" He excitedly exclaimed. "I'll be right back, I'm gonna go find a lighter, and I promise I'll be out in like 5 seconds. Wait here! Okay? I love you Kyle and I want you to know you're the best boyfriend ever!" He leaned into kiss me again, and after pausing quickly to make sure no one was around, planted his lips right on my cheek. I smiled and told him I would see him soon. He spun around, shot finger guns at me. I reached into my pocket to grab my phone and check the time, but couldn't find it. After mentally retracing my steps, I remembered setting it down next to me on the stairs before I started searching for Stan.

I stepped back inside, the music seemingly louder before, and started towards the stairs. There, I met eyes with Craig, a person I actually didn't mind socializing with. Craig was my closest friend. Aside from Stan, of course, he was someone I could share almost anything with. He smiled and moved over, making room for me to sit next to him. "Were you looking for this?" He asked, holding up my phone. I shook my head.

"I'm such a dumbass." I took my phone back and laughed quietly. "I swear I'm so bad at keeping track of this fucking thing." He nodded in agreement.

"Remember that time you left it on the train? We were so lucky that old lady found it. Some fucking kid would have taken it and sold it for weed or some shit."

"No doubt." That day we spent in the city is another reason I don't drink.

He sighed and rested his chin on his hand. With the other hand he held up his finger. "One hour dude. It took her one hour to totally fucking forget I existed. You were right."

"Am I ever wrong though?"

He punched me in the arm and laughed. He ran his hand through his hair and let out another sigh. "I mean, Wendy cheated on Stan, what, twice? I owe you $20. I caught her fucking some kid from Brighton in her car like an hour ago. She jumped out and tried to explain but I really wasn't ready to listen to that bitch. She was crying and shit about how she didn't mean it, but 20 minutes later I saw her drive off with him. It's not like I thought we were getting married or whatever, but she could have been a civilized human being about ending things. She sent me a whole text about how she didn't want to be held back while she was in college and she needed to explore her options."

I put my arm around him for reassurance. "Dude, she's honestly not worth it at all. I knew it wasn't gonna work out. I mean, you guys were dating for like 4 months, did you even tell each other that you loved each other yet?"

"No," he averted his gaze downwards, pausing for a few moments before continuing on, "I think I'm ready to actually start dating guys now. The last four people I dated were women, and it's never felt right.

When I say Craig and I are really good friends, I mean it. I could tell this kid some of my deepest secrets and he would have never shared them with a single soul. Sometimes I wondered if he knew more about me than Stan did. He told me everything too. It's always been pretty mutual in that aspect. He had been open to me about him being bisexual, something that he'd been too afraid to even share with his own family at first. He's out now and told most of his friends after I sat down and had a long talk with him. However, he didn't know I was gay. It was a conflicting situation. Though I knew I could trust him with my life, the possibility of other people knowing scared me. It's hypocritical, I know. Being nervous to come out myself but convincing someone else it would be okay. I had kept this secret from him for so long, I didn't know how to begin to let him in on this huge part of my life.

"I really think you should. To be fair, you don't have the best taste in women, but I don't think it would hurt to try out your other options."

He gave me a soft nod and pat me on the back. "I already downloaded Tinder and Grindr. I think I'm ready to convert."

"I thought I was the dumbass here."

He laughed and stood up. "I was going to try and socialize a little more since we have the week off from school and I want nothing to do with these people after we graduate, but I think I'm gonna head home. Thanks for letting me vent, Kyle."

"Of course, you fucking idiot, what else am I here for?"

He stood up and hugged me and headed for the door.

After realizing a considerable amount of time had passed, I decided it was best to seek out Stan again and see if he was ready to go home as well. I went back into the living room only to find him sitting on the couch getting a lap dance from some random girl. I rolled my eyes and waited for him to notice me again. "KYYYYLEEE!" He screamed from across the room, running over and hugging me. "I SWEAR on my mother's GRAVE I thought that was you giving me a lap dance."

"Are my hips really that feminine?" I joked, "And you know your mother isn't dead so that really doesn't apply, right?"

He started giggling and burped, whispering way too loudly "BABE! I'm so fucking drunk right now. I just wanna take you home and fuck the shit out of you." His loud whispering caught the attention of some nearby partygoers. I ignored them.

"Say your goodbyes Stan, I'll get you home."

He made his way around the party and started hugging some friends and other random strangers he had befriended that evening. Before we made our way to the front door, he pulled a lighter out of his pants. Not even the pocket, just straight from his crotch. "MY GREEN LIGHTER!" We stepped outside and he lit a cigarette. I helped him into the passenger's seat of my car and rolled down the window. "Babe… I had so much fun tonight. Did you have so much fun? I made so many new FRIENDS." He exclaimed, almost covering himself in ash. "I think I must've invited like ten people to our wedding."

"Oh, so we're getting married now?" I asked with a side smile.

He stared directly into my eyes, with a look of concern. "Kyle, I love you, I really hope one day we can make it that far. You're like the best thing that's ever happened to me! What the heck babe! I couldn't even imagine- OH MY GOD KYLE LOOK THERES A KITTY OUTSIDE."

He pointed to a plastic bag sitting in the middle of the road. "That is an adorable cat, but it's time to buckle up now so we can get you in bed."

"Oh… I would like to get you into bed too." I rolled my eyes again and started the car and began driving home.

After turning the corner, I noticed Craig walking along the side of the street. I pulled up next to him. "Dude, why the fuck are you walking home?"

"Wendy was my ride."

"Get in dumbass. I'm obviously gonna drive you home."

Stan turned excitedly towards the back seat upon Craig's addition to the vehicle. "CRAIG! Dude I hardly saw you all night. How are you buddy?"

My heartbeat increased slightly at the thought of Stan's drunken self mentioning something to Craig.

"Oh, I was around, you know."

Stan continued "Are you also super fucked up? Is that why you're walking home? I swear I had like a million alcohols tonight."

"Oh yeah," Craig lied, "Suuuuuuper fucked up." Craig and I simultaneously laughed.

Stan began toying with the music, before settling on "It's My Life" by No Doubt. He loudly began singing along, completely off key. "DON'T YOU FORGET. IT'S MY LIFE. IT NEVER ENDS." He started laughing at himself, burped and threw his finished cigarette out the window.

Craig shifted in the back seat and rested his head on the window as we continued our drive.

"PSSSSSSST…. Kyle." Stan whispered, in what I imagined he assumed was a quiet voice.

"What's up, Stan?" I asked.

"When we got home are you still gonna let me fuck you really hard, PLEASE?"

"Stan, you're drunk. Stop being weird," I directed my voice towards the back of the car, "I swear to god this kid fucking flirts with everyone when he's drunk."

I watched Craig raise an eyebrow in the reflection of the rear-view mirror.

"Kyyyyllleee," Stan wailed, "That's so mean. I would never cheat on you. I love you." He promptly started making loud, fake crying noises. I did my best to ignore him by turning up the music. He slapped my hand away and turned it back down, turning his attention once again to Craig. "Craig, Kyle loves me, right? We've been boyfriend and girlfriend for like 20 years now."

My heart continued to race, and I hoped the fact that Stan was plastered would make Craig discredit anything he said during his drunken ramblings. Craig laughed and said "Sure thing, I heard you invited a bunch of people to a wedding. Definitely for you and Kyle, right?"

"FUCK YEAH! You're gonna be there right? We're getting married tomorrow."

"Without a doubt, bud."

The rest of the drive went fairly smoothly despite Stan's occasional outbursts when he recognized random strings of lyrics on the radio in songs that he barely knew. We pulled up to Craig's house and I said goodnight before he hopped out. I scolded Stan the entire ride back to my house, realizing he probably wouldn't have remembered most of it when he woke up the next morning. My parents were gone for the weekend with Ike so I wasn't concerned about how loud Stan would be when he entered the house.

After making our way into my bedroom, Stan did what he said he would do to me in the car. And for some reason, I couldn't stop thinking about Craig.

He was quick to fall asleep right after we fucked. I picked up my phone and searched through my recent text messages, typing out a quick one to my friend.

_Hey Craig, can we meet at Starbucks tomorrow? I want to talk to you._

I set my phone down and went to sleep.

**A/N: Please let me know what you guys think! **


End file.
